


Jizz in my Pants, aka Pureblooded Seeds Sown on My Bespoke Leather Garment by Draco Malfoy

by Pie (potteresque_ire)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Song Lyrics, Song Parody, Song: Jizz in My Pants, the lonely island
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-17
Updated: 2010-01-17
Packaged: 2019-09-14 01:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16903218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/potteresque_ire/pseuds/Pie
Summary: Lock eyes from across the room, soap my arse while the tension blooms...





	Jizz in my Pants, aka Pureblooded Seeds Sown on My Bespoke Leather Garment by Draco Malfoy

**Author's Note:**

> Archived in AO3 for the the fun I had while making this up. This one is dedicated to my dear fandom friends who inspired this: romaine24, marguerite_26, jamie2109 and vaysh11 :P . The original music video from The Lonely Island can be found [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLnWf1sQkjY).

Lock eyes from across the room  
Soap my arse while the tension blooms  
Take your cock; skip the names.  
Thank Dark Lord for the Quidditch games:  
Made our way above the posts and crowd,  
The Snitch was the sky and we’re in the cloud.  
Moved in close as the Bludgers flied,  
Our brooms touched and the fangirls died.  
  
Leave this place; go back to yours.  
Our tongues battle in Gryffindor.  
The whole night spent begging on all fours,  
You stutter in my ear that you’d like some more  
And I jizz in my pants.  
  
This really never happens you can take my word.  
Malfoys apologize?  
That's just absurd!  
Mainly your fault for your skin’s olive tan  
And now I jizz in my pants.  
  
Don't tell your minions or I'll say you're a slut.  
And it’s your fault  
Not my porcelain butt’s.  
I'm very sensitive  
Granger’d say that's a plus.  
Now  _Scourgify_  and change!  
  
I need to perfect my treachery,  
Do things alone now mostly.  
Dashing yet maudlin, not lookin' for love.  
Surprise in storm-grey when I looked above  
My skull and cobra and I saw your face.  
My heart stood still so did time and space.  
Never thought that I could feel hard again  
But a look at your jeans said you felt the same.  
You turned to me that's when you said it—  
Pink lips pouted and said “Fuck me, you git.”  
And I jizzed in my pants.  
  
It's perfectly normal,  
Pureblood blonds like me  
But we're going to need a cleanup—  
Dobby’s free.  
Still now I'm posed in a perfect stance.  
Leathered, I jizzed in my pants.  
  
To be fair  
You were staring a lot.  
Plus the way your green orbs make me  
Bothered and hot.  
Please stop acting like you're not obsessed;  
One more thing  
I'm gonna call you prat.  
  
Last week, I whored a quill—  
As I recall it was Skeeter’s quill.  
Talked about your ‘cuffs and canes,  
Checked the Prophet and saw your name  
And I jizzed in my pants.  
  
Speeding through dinner, when our desserts flash.  
Need to eat with haste, free them from Crabbe’s stash.  
The treacle tarts remind me of you  
And I jizz in my pants.  
  
The next day  
Snape’s robe billows  
And I jizz in my pants.  
  
Blue eyes twinkle as Old Fool strolls in  
And I jizzed in my pants.  
  
When the Dark Lord prances in front of his fans  
I jizz in my pants.  
  
I just saw Filch naked  
And I jizz in my pants.  
  
I went to…  
  
_(Ginny+Pansy barging in) Okay seriously you guys, can we ….okay?_  
  
I jizz right in my pants  
Every time you’re hexing me  
And when our egos clash  
It’s like having sex with me  
You say my snake’s premature  
I just call it  _slitherin’_.  
I’ve gone commando at all times  
It’s a necessity.  
Cuz I jizz in my pants.  
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants (x3))  
Yes I jizz in my pants.  
(I jizz in my pants, I jizz in my pants)


End file.
